livinglot | tl;cr meme

They've had two very different meetings, so what does the small think of him now?

They certainly HAVE, though not so different that it's really jolted her opinions around. They did have that fishing offscreen after all. So Reira is a little exhapserated about 9S admittedly, largely because she finds it awful silly to just up and decide that something doesn't have feelings when, buddy, they totally do. Right now she's sort of going on the assumption that machines where 9S lives just don't, but she'd really like to find a work-around for everywhere else.

Especially with...Animal-oids?? Animal androids??? Who knows what they'll call them.

Despite that though, she's relatively 'okay' with 9S, or at least okay enough to sort of view him as a friend the same way she did some of the Lancers. He's nice enough, even if he gets some pretty ' :/ ' feelings every now and then, and she can tell he at least cares-meal time certainly proved that in spades, and she'd probably trust him as someone to talk to if she ever thought about. Well. Talking to someone.

/fingerguns

This one might be long, but it also might not, surprisingly. So skimming over canon, we know that Yuuya was arguably the second person to ever earn Reira's affection. She sought him out for comfort, actually running from her room to his even-and who knows how that'd have gone if the door was LOCKED still. But the thing about her in series attachments is that her development also focused very heavily on learning to not always listen to them. This is something that, go figure, has backfired significantly now in the Manor. It led to her underestimating the price of disobedience considerably, and now she's paying it, watching others pay for it more, and over all coming out of this deciding that maybe Always Listening To Orders is the better idea after all.

She really needs to learn where the line on obedience can sanely sit, but that aside. Yuuya is someone she values, but also someone she now pities, largely due to the whole Zarc matter. While she has no doubts about his personal strength and dedication to others, she feels that his attitudes toward Zarc are frankly nonsense. He knows, she's certain, that she can feel the emotions. So it's baffling to her that he can't just understand what she means when she says that Zarc is sorry. There's just a level of self-deprecation that she can't understand in there, and the idea of just excising and killing the part of you that's done wrong sits with her horribly.

Perhaps because she feels that her own mistakes can't be dealt with that way, or that any mistakes can't be dealt with that way. Not everyone can just cause a bunch of shit and cut that part out. Yuuya might not have obviously done that willingly, but he arguably was able to 'do' that, in the form of being allowed to exist apart from Zarc.

So tl;dr there, she..sort of feels that Yuuya wanting Zarc dead is a way to just get something 'rid of', to cast it aside, forget about it, etc. Rather than actually moving on in a healthy manner. Or at least, what she feels is healthy. But Reira does love Yuuya-she's grateful, albeit guilty, to be alive, not just post contract signing but also with the 'kidnapping' at the ball. She may have been irritated with his contract after all, but as I've said before she's never blamed him-nor even the Ringmaster, for determining that killing Zarc would be the quickest solution.

She does feel that she has more a head on her shoulders than he thinks though. Don't coddle her, Yuuya! Don't treat her like she's weak, she's totally not! But also, she'll find you when she needs that talk, and needs that hug-because she does know that sometimes things are too much, and sometimes she won't understand everything, and sometimes....

....She does need you. As much as she needs her brother, she needs you.

Maybe it is, but u can't deny that's the easiest solution.

He's maybe not the best life coach, but he's at least going to be here to take care of her for as long as they're in the carnival.

maybe not enough cr to judge yet but i'm curious so??

Hey, something is something right? Like noted before, Reira's not really familiar with other kids either. She's interacted with a few, but they were still at least a little different from Susan, in the way that. Well. Most kids are different from each other. She didn't really put much thought into it though-largely because she speaks to everyone on the same level, generally making a few unfortunate assumptions about what's obvious while she's at it.

Her entire conversation with Susan at the ball hopwever, has added a somewhat painful layer to this though. The entire talk was just painful. She remembers his worry, and she remembers how she responded to it, unable to actually bring herself to speak as she typically WOULD have. Adding to that, she even went and got him caught-poisoned with the same stuff she's dealing with, not that she'll know THAT part until later of course.

The point is she got Susan-and Lauren caught, so she's going to be making a strong effort to try making it up to them somehow.

Because....well, she might not totally get Susan, but he seems nice. And he cared, which was important.

ok

Ok so Sans is one is actually right at the front of my mind given Current Events, so you've asked for it-

Reira's first experience with Sans-and I mean just in terms of hearing about him-didn't really leave too much of a mark, she heard about him from Yuuya to start. This was when Yuuya was trying to sort of guide her around a bit, tell her some tips, that sort of thing-and at that point, she didn't actually get a name.

She got 'The Warden'. She was basically just told that if anything bad was happening, if she got scared, etc etc, 'Go find either the Warden, or the Nightrider'. From here though, obviously, the only experience she really gets from him is in passing emotions. Sans is a supervisor, so he's at the Supervisor table; beyond that, she doesn't know him near enough to seek him out, so whatever he's feeling around those times was almost undoubtedly drowned out by the others feeling panicked at the least, and RM really just not digging the Prince at the worst.

So she's left with visuals. What she sees is a multi-eyed, weirdo looking skeleton. Nothing New, in other words-this brings the image of strength, to her mind actually, it gives her the idea of someone who is good at what they're supposed to do as 'warden', as someone whose job is to basically protect...Everyone in the carnival, as far as she knows. The unique thing about Reira is that there's not a lot that she'll pick up in terms of seeming expression-someone who's faking a smile can be figured out quick, sure, but it also means that just seeing someone smile from a distance doesn't necessarily make her think 'they'll be happy'. She questions those things, which means that her other assumptions-of strength, security, protection-actually would have overridden anything that would, for a normal person, have taken away from that about Sans' mannerisms.

....And that's all before she even meets him.

By the time she meets Sans, she's already feeling at fault about what happened to her and Julien. Sans doesn't appear down there too much later-which makes things worse in her eyes, because not only did she get one of her first Carnival friends hurt and trapped, this tells her that the warden came to find them. And got caught. 'Her fault'. But Sans is kind-even gentle, especially by her standards, and constantly keeping from admitting the severity of his injuries. It makes her think a little of Yuuya, but it also makes her think of her brother; Reiji might not have been nearly as emotive even in the joking sense, but he WAS someone who hid those emotions deep when he could, albeit for different reasons. Given the context though, it means she has a lot of respect-but also a lot of concern, not only because of how much is being hidden, but because of how much pain and worry there actually is, even if some of the positive used to mask things is legitimate.

Tl;dr, she's probably going to apologize (more than she likely already did) after the event to him; he is, to her, someone who's strong, and someone who takes their job seriously-but is also someone who tries to keep a situation positive, or at least keep it from flying south more than it already is. She values that a lot! It leaves him as someone she very much cares for in turn, after those few days, but she's also really worried about him now....

~~gee i hope my words actually make as much sense as I think tho~~

wooo

JULIEN.....First, she holds nothing against him. It'd be pretty dumb since the biggest deciding point for her was caring too much about Julien's own upset-which Julien, naturally, can't control. This is where the core of all those 'Convinced a child' jokes sit, honestly. Far out of Julien's control, and far more directly on Reira's own fault. Julien is someone that Reira's known since her first day at the Carnival. He helped her bring some of the last stragglers back to the menagerie, and later on helped with things like avoiding too much crowd pressure, showed her what PASTA was, showed her all of these things, and he very quickly became someone she came to care about and trust on top of that.

It's a combination of this and watching him so easily make use of that inventory space, that led to her hesitating less than she otherwise would have on leaving the room-she knew by that point that Julien COULD, almost immediately, shove her in that portal, and the idea that they'd be literally one step away from the safe zone made the prospect of sleep a very easy one to grasp, especially since-for Reira at least-she felt that a combination of getting more rest and giving Julien his own peace of mind was worth the seemingly slight risk. It's a shame her roll was so bad, really-chances are if they'd merely heard a sound she'd have bolted back and never tried it again, but hindsight is always 20/20. As it is, if there's one thing she's getting from this on top of the obvious 'pain over risk', it's the fact that sometimes you're going to make people worry, and you won't be able to fix that.

In fact, sometimes fixing it makes it worse. (Unfortunate echoes to her thread with 'goth Steven', actually)

As it is, she's especially upset about Julien taking blame on himself. This ACTUALLY bled through even in the ball-she didn't want him looking after her, it wasn't right to be doing that after what she caused, but there he is...looking after her.

And now she's in the Carnival, while Julien is somewhere losing his name, and it's a sharp blow-a really, really sharp blow to consider happening to probably the first personally made friend she got in the Carnival itself.

hello child

Ah, here comes pain- Or well.... ...Yeah no it's pain now.

Ginko is in the box of people Reira would never want to cause trouble for, but thanks to current events is now realizing that wow, go figure, now people care about what happens to her and other people. On top of that, her actions caused even more direct consequences to EVERYONE so....that's a thing.

Ginko being as calm as he is has a very positive effect on an empath, suffice to say. It's a bit of a constant effect-he feels calm, so she in turn feels safe, and that alone gives her a fair amount of confidence when it comes to the work he gives her-and even the work she does on her own! Avoiding angry animals is pretty easy for her, so there's probably not been any real close calls thus far with the animal keeping either. So he's a very stable-very secure figure in her life already.

Which....of course is why despite not even running into him at the ball, she feels the need to apologize for what happened. Hurting Ginko for her-and she's pretty sure by making him worry, or by going missing, she did that-is probably somewhere on line with kicking the tektite. It's mean and pointless and does nothing but make a lot of things hurt and the worst of it is that she already somewhat knows he won't be 'mad' in the way she's used to and that makes it even more upsetting.

tl;dr I guess, she wants to give Ginko a hug. And say sorry. And also offer to clean all of the poo for the rest of the year, that's something that helps right?

Oh no.

Foster. Hooo.

OH BOY HERE WE GO. So straight up, Foster is fucking weird. Reira's used to people being emotional, but Foster is...well for starters he's not NOT emotional but he's definitely....not nearly the same 'kind' of emotional, what with that whole anhedonia deal. At the same time though, the sheer awkward imbalance of emotions is what allowed Reira to actually stay near him when they first met. If Foster was able to linger on things too much-able to really hold onto the sorts of outbursts that come if someone worries about him or similar, she'd be gone. Instead though, everything comes in flashes.

And that means she can pass through it like a ghost, seek out what feels more 'positive' (a very loose word of course), and what works. The result is they can talk rather easily-and it's refreshing, for her at least, to be able to talk in a way that she feels requires little explanation. As far as she can tell, Foster...mostly understands what she's getting at, which doesn't really happen a lot if ever.

That said, that fractured, non-positive mess also means she's a bit worried about Foster. She doesn't understand, much like in her conversation with 'goth Steven', why someone would just...not ask to be able to be happy, not ask for the solutions to certain problems. She won't talk about it or press if it starts to push too many self-hate buttons or even hate buttons, but it's definitely a very odd thing for her to try and understand.

As it is, once she has that bird back she's probably going to be even more worried, since-go figure-as much as she knows Foster doesn't really....seem to CARE about things, the fact that he's now acting for something is a Worrying Point Indeed. It means he could get hurt and well...

She knows it's safe to worry as long as she doesn't tell him she's worried, you know. It's easy to hide that.

She does, on another note, feel that her promise to him is rather silly. If she can tell he feels things, and if he's doing all THIS, in particular, she's pretty sure people are going to realize he 'feels things'. Making her promise not to tell anyone that just seems ridiculous!

Chinhands deeply.

It's really fascinating to me how their respective defects allow them to function more easily around each other.......... Reira's empathy lets her catch shit before it turns into a real problem, his anhedonia and extremely superficial emotional experiences allow him to avoid overloading her For Real.

And I'm very excited for future non brainwashed interactions with them now that Foster is consciously aware of her empathy.

In a way, it actually frees him from "needing" to do all this performative emotional stuff that stresses him out so frequently.

But yeah, it's a little ridiculous... Childermass now knows, in a minor way, that Foster has an investment he won't acknowledge. So the cat's not out of the bag by any means, but someone's glimpsed some whiskers.......

That's honestly a pretty safe topic, at least--Foster's hopelessness wrt himself is more like the sun rising in the east to him. A basic fact. If she wants to pry, he'll try to be clear about it, but he probably won't make sense.... she might have to endure some interrogatives about herself in the process, though. (Foster asking someone about themself? That's... new. Oh boy.)

Incidentally, Reira seems to be the only one who finds Foster actually being motivated to do ANYTHING worrisome instead of a good sign.

Uh... first impression? That berserk button's a doozy isn't it.

GEEZE YUUGO....ok so. She doesn't know Yuugo that well, At All, of course. She's seen him duel a bit, but beyond that had....just not really encountered him at all??? Literally at all she wasn't even there when he dueled Yuuri so. WELP.

So Kerner basically being the first meeting was definitely a THING. Yuugo strikes her as quick to anger, certainly, but also (point blank) kind of a moron. Which is probably accurate. The berserk button is certainly a thing she didn't expect to ever hear, but things could probably be worse, and for the most part she just got to watch them trying to shoot spectres. Neat, but also still kind of dumb.

Stop being dumb, Yuugo?

tl;cr meme

Reira

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject